The Simple Things

It's not the thought that counts: 'They may not believe what you say, but they'll believe what you do'. 

Three little words, New Year Resolutions.

I don't really make them. Not those traditional 'punishment' resolutions anyway. I'd rather veto vows to drink less/eat healthier/get fit and instead eat doughnuts, whole heaving boxes of them, and ENJOY my year a little, then bully myself into doing things i dont really want to do.

I'm going to run after my children, laugh until my body shakes and turn to face the rain when it pours. With boxes of doughnuts.

Im inspired by Mr W who came up to me this week proudly and said 'I saw some really beautiful flowers and thought about getting them for you... but didnt'.

Long pause.

'Thats nice' i said.

No further explaination.

Apparently 'its the thought that counts'. Well... it doesnt. It really bleedin' doesnt. Otherwise i could get away with only thinking about cooking dinner, paying bills and showing people i love them. And you certainly dont go up to the person and say 'Y'know, I thought about feeding you tonight buuuuuut changed my mind. Starve. Bon appetite!' because 'its the thought that counts'. That's just plain mean.

He saw his obvious error and bought me these:

Silly man. So, joking aside, when it comes to my goals for 2012 im only going to list things which im likely to actually attempt, let alone achieve so that MY actions speak louder then my intentions. And why stop at 2012? My goals are life goals. There's no deadline. Infact im sure i wont complete them all, but then i can carry them onto 2013. So, apart from the obvious (to be happy and healthy blah blah blah) I want to:

• Get my body back into its prenatal shape. Nothing to do with loosing weight but just recovering from 3 years of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding, and getting my posture sorted, my hormones settled and growing my hair back after it all falls out in a few weeks time (groan).
• Define my personal style and edit my wardrobe strictly. I have this theory that you can strip your whole life of clutter right down to the material essentials. I envision a world of only one shampoo, one perfect pair of jeans, one essential white shirt etc. No clutter. No unused products. No leftovers. Everything serves a purpose. My wardrobes are chocker so i'd like to really refine my clothes and figure out once and for all my own style so i can just stick to that and not my tempted by silly trends.
• Do a blog tour. Basically visit all the blogs in my feed and examine and enjoy each one closely. I want to delve deep into archives, look closely at all the other pages in the blog and actually get to know the people i read about every week. Then i might report back here with my thoughts.
• Work my way through 'The Great British book of Baking' and Raymond Blancs 'Kitchen Secrets' cookbooks. Lots of great British classics and French skilful cooking. I want to learn some more techniques and boost my confidence with unfamiliar procedures and ingredients.
• Work my way through '200 projects to get you into Art School' and a sewing project book. I was doing this originally on my official portfolio website but got distracted and stopped but i think it would be perfect to pick it up for this blog and carry on. I figured it would take me about 3 years to complete it all but i quite like that. Theres also a Fashion version which i also want to attempt.
• Learn how to photograph makeup and beauty well. Its how i got into blogging really. I wanted to do some photography of my eyes and mouth for an art project but couldnt get it to look the way i wanted. Then i went googling photography techniques and came across beauty and fashion blogs and then very quickly craft and art blogs. I quickly forgot my project but would like to refine my skills in that area anyway.
• Drive. I want to get my confidence back here and stop being utterly terrified of driving so people can stop nagging me and LEAVE ME ALONE. Some people are so unsympathetic of peoples irrational fears.
• Create playlists for my iPhone. I dont listen to enough music. And its mainly because my iPhone is plagued with things like Hypnobirthing, Puppy Xmas Carols and 100 Childrens Nursery Rhymns and im genuinely too scared to listen to it.
• Enter and win an art competition. I havent decided which one yet but it will most likely be something low key from Deviant Art.
• Maintain positivity and happiness. I've been really happy recently. Its been brilliant.
• Take an online class in something. Probably art/sewing related.
• Move house or progress in property. I have to put this one down even though i'm still bitter and twisted from last years appalling housing market because property pays my way and its time to do something new. Even if its not moving house. Our last project completed in 2009 and weve been having babies since then but now its time to do another. There's plenty out there even if its not exactly what we want. We can distract ourselves with little projects until our dreams come to fruition. Grumble grumble grumble.
• Celebrate yearly events/festivals and create traditions. I want to focus more carefully on special events and start making family traditions for us. Watch this space.
• Embrace solitude. I seem to be happier and a better person when i avoid the human race. Its taken me a while to enjoy my own company but these days i feel like its important to be alone. Friendships are dying. People are moving on. I've lost patience with being a doormat. And im too confident to settle for anything less these days. Instead, id rather be free of all that baggage and embrace my own company until new fulfilling relationships appear. And they will. I just want to get to know me more. And besides, its fun in the shadows. Close friends and family understand and respect this thankfully.
• Grow a sunflower. April is planting time.
• Repaint bad paintings. Inspired by some blogs i read im going to repaint quite a few of my paintings. When i was an artist i found myself painting with only the customers 'wants' in mind, not mine, and because of this i became disillusioned and angry at my work. I didnt like what i was painting but i felt i had to paint it because no one would buy what i actually wanted to paint. Its the reason i stopped working as an artist and decided to only create things as an hobbyist. Now though, i want to recover those ugly paintings and turn them into something I love and recapture that passion i used to have for it all. I want to save them and in turn save Me a little.

And 2012's word is:

LAUGH